Sheen ubiquity brings avalanche of punch lines

>>> oh, yes, is it time? t. is time, prerecorded mika.

>> and the only reason we can get away with what we're about to do is because she's not sitting here. she would have vetoed this. there are more important events but we have charlie sheen .

>> this week, charlie sheen stopped pretending he's not from mars.

>> defeat is not an option. they picked a fight with a warlock. epic behavior. psychological distress, oh, my god.

>> fools, trolls. i've been riding it on a mercury surfboard. i'm an a drug, it's called charlie sheen .

>> are you clean right now?

>> look at me, duh.

>> sheen showed he's taken to heart president obama 's message of winning the future .

>> first step in winning the future --

>> duh, winning.

>> maybe he's a disciple of the great vince lombardi .

>> they all know winning isn't everything, it's the only thing.

>> duh, winning.

>> sheen brought his winning message to more than a million followers on twitter. while back on tv, america tried to follow along as he explained his feet with cbs.

>> now you have your cleanup hitter and it's late august and i'm sitting on 64 bombs at 4:20, 107 driven in and we're not in the playoffs yet.

>> with his tv career on the rocks, sheen reminded the country of his rather imbresive imdb page.

>> i won best picture at 20. i wasn't even trying.

>> a week after questioning the manhood of one of the founding fathers .

>> i'm not thomas jefferson . he was a [ bleep ].

>> sheen cited the wisdom of another great american thinker .

>> i missed practice, talking about practice, to quote the great allen iverson . practice.

>> we're talking about practice, man. what are we talking about? practice?

>> charlie declared himself ready to get back to work, announcing that he had healed himself of his problems with drugs and alcohol.

>> i close my eyes and made it so with the power of my mined.

>> what kind of a mind could cure addiction? the 10,000-year-old kind.

>> i have a 10-year-old-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. that's how i describe myself.

>> wait, what?

>> i have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old.

>> sheen swears he's high on sheen and only sheen .

>> drug tests don't lie. the scoreboard doesn't lie.

>> charlie walks the path of recovery with his live-in godesses, both of them only slightly older than the 7-year-old boogers.

>> i don't care where the bus is going. that's how we live. you know what i mean .

>> for charlie sheen this week, no apologies, just nonstop wing.

>> that's fine. that's how i roll. bye-bye. there's the frickin' door.

>> speaking of winning, the author of the book "winning," jack welch on " morning joe ." [

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